Let it be known that on the eve on which I turned the ripe age of twenty, I stood in the bathroom in my Reckless T-shirt without pants on, blow drying my hair. What a glorious moment in which I emerged from the bathroom a fully fledged adult.
The choices I make will matter now. I know I'll make some bad ones, but there will be some good ones too. I know there will be some hurt, but there also be some wonder.
I've become less eager than I once was. I am no longer running off into the future. I like the now. After all, isn't this the future I was waiting for?
I have everything I ever thought I needed, and so much more.
And as far as my life so far goes, I think that, despite all the bad choices I've made, there's a whole lot of good that came out of it.
How blessed I am to have not one, but two groups of weirdos who with their presence have granted me a family.
How blessed I am to have books to read and people to love and pages on which to write.
How blessed I am to have this boy whom is so much more than I deserve and who gives me everything I never asked for and everything I never thought I'd needed.
How blessed I am to have a mother who with her goofy wisdom and unlikely strength allows me to be weak when I can no longer be strong.
How blessed I am to have my troop of boys who give me more love than I know what to do with.
How blessed I am to have a father who knows me, sometimes more so than I know myself.
Oh, how blessed I am to have fierce friends who build me higher with their feisty words.
How blessed I am to have goofy friends, who make me laugh with my whole face.
How blessed I am to have a fight-man and a humble-dragon who look out for me, even when I do not need it.
How blessed I am to have a little sister, even though I never got one. And an older brother, because I've always wanted one.
I have enough best friends to last me a lifetime; best friends in the form of brothers, and soul mates, and kindred-spirits, and best-mates, and business-partners. Oh Lord, you have given me more than I ever needed. Me, this shell of a person, so incomplete and insufficient, who had been so solitary in my lonesomeness, yet is now so showered with blessings.
I wrote these words when I was sixteen, but I do not think I understood them then.
There were a lot of things lacking in my life at that age. Though I had blessings tenfold more than I deserved, there was a void in my heart in the form of my own destitute gratitude.
I am by no means rich by societies standards, but I am wealthy in my heart and in my soul.
For twenty, this is pretty good I think.
The future is now. And as scary as that may be, looking back behind me, and looking at all the wonderful faces that surround me, I think I have everything I need.