The Road Goes Ever On

These pictures were taken in the Dolomite's in Italy during my grand European adventure last year.
I have wanted to share these pictures with you for quite some time and try and capture this experience. But, somehow, I don't think I could capture with mere words how incredibly breathtaking it was.

As me and my Dad (who thankfully took these fantastic pictures and so helped capture what my words cannot) made our way up the mountain side, and the air got thinner and thinner, I could hear my heart beat in my ears. It seemed to come from all around me. I can remember so vividly the feel of the wind in my hair and the clouds in my lungs. 

We climbed right into the sky, and, when we finally reached the top, despite the fact that I could hardly muster the strength to take another step, looking into the fog and seeing the path beyond, I wanted nothing more than to keep going; To follow the road, and discover what was beyond the fog. 
But the clouds were getting thicker and a storm was beginning to brew. It followed us all the way down the mountain and we only made it home just in time. I don't think I would have had the strength to go much further.   

Rarely have I found so much peace in silence and been so at a loss for words. One day I will go back and see what lies beyond the fog. And this time, I won't turn back. 

“The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say?"

 

~ Bilbo; The Lord of the Rings by: J.R.R Tolkien

A Story About Kathie

It was your birthday yesterday! 
So, though it is one day late, here is my tribute to you. 
My dear cousin, my sister by choice and my best-est mate ;)

I was supposed to share my favorite Kathie story yesterday. I didn't do that, not because I couldn't think of anything to say, but because I couldn't think of what to say! 

So late last night, I started to ponder... What is my favorite Kathie story?

I think I finally figured it out. So... here it is. 

My favorite Kathie story is every Kathie story. 
 It is not a singular moment of laughter or any of the nonsense we do. My favorite Kathie story is every Kathie-like moment! Every time you giggle or ramble about something. Every time you listen to me ramble about something (Have I ever told you that I never talk so much as when I'm with you?)   

I love your childish bliss. Balloons, bubbles, sparkles, giggles and all. Kathie, never grow up. You can get older, but don't grow up.

It takes someone very brave to have a heart like yours. If you grow up, and lose that wonderful carefree spirit, the world will have won, and the world will be a worse place for it. Peter Pan would sooner grow up than Kathie lose her sparkle! And coming from me that's saying a lot ;)

So be brave. Take heart, because the world likes to make children grow up, but you're gonna challenge the world like it's never been challenged before. 

That is my Kathie story. How Kathie refused to let the world bring her down. That is your story.

So, stay extraordinary! Stay you! And never grow up! 

We love you. 

- Lea and the Boys <3

 

Putting My Heart On My Sleeve

I was going to post another book review today, I sat down with that intention, but there appear to be other things on my mind, or rather, on my heart.

I realize constantly that I am such a bad thinker. I know is seems ridiculous, but my thoughts, and more importantly, my emotions, always seem to get away from me. I can't think clearly, let alone feel... anything. 
Sometimes that scares me, just a little. 

When I was no more than a child (quite a younger one than I am now) my personal philosophy was to absorb the world. I wanted to experience every glorious piece of it. I wanted to feel everything with every fiber of my heart, to take in the world with every ounce of my being. I was so fascinated with all the wonderful things my heart and could feel... until the things I felt started to hurt, and the world became a lot less wonderful. And so, this little star crossed girl grew up, and she stopped putting her heart into everything.


The irony of this little story is how often my feelings seem to waste away these days. They burn away without so much as a spark. I go from day to day, letting my thoughts and day dreams delude me into thinking I can no longer feel.

Then, I sit down at my desk, with the intentions of writing a book review about a book I barely even liked, and I remember where my heart is. I remember the liberation, the respiration of feeling something, like taking a breath after a long time without breathing.

The truth is, as you get older, you learn not to put your heart into everything you do. In fact, you learn to put your heart away, like a forgotten keepsake into a chest or a drawer, until you find some better use for it. 

You'll soon learn that, going from one day to another with your heart on your sleeve may lead to heart ache, but going without feeling is a different kind of pain: In the way that ice freezes or fire singes. Being numb is like a phantom. 
If you lock your heart away you will soon forget how to use it. Hearts grow cold on neglect and misuse, and what a tragedy it is to waste something so precious.
   
It is for that very reason that I will bleed my feelings onto pages, so that they will not have to escape me. I will write because that is how my thoughts find clarity and my emotions break free. I have learned not to put my heart on my sleeve, but I will never stop putting my heart onto pages.

And so I will not be reviewing any books today. I will write simply because my heart felt lonely and misused today, and it feels so incredibly good to finally feel something. 

 

"She had not known the weight until she felt the freedom." 

~The Scarlet Letter