But today is different. Today is one of those days where everything I do and everything I have fought for seems meaningless and pointless. Today is one of those days where the words are just a whirlwind inside my head, and they do not seem to fit onto any page.
Days like today I cannot write because, when everything seems to have lost its meaning, whats the point in saying anything at all?
I understand that these emotions are inevitable. Every high has a low, every journey its pit stop. But this feeling has a cycle. It creeps over me the same way every time.
It invades and infests when I lie awake at night. It finds me in a quite room. It's the silence that possess me.
If I am not the master of my thoughts, someone else will take
control. If I do not stay focused on the words, the silence will fill me with thoughts that are destructive and mortiferous. It will tell me that my words are pointless and try to keep me still.
So I have decided to ask myself a question; If these words are without point or meaning, then why can I never get them off my mind? If the things I might say don't matter, then why is the devil trying so hard to silence me?
These words they are my point. They are my meaning.
I cannot let the silence break me, so I will break this silence.
"I must write it all out. At any cost. Writing is thinking. It is more than living, for it is being conscious of living."
~Anne Morrow
